To settle..

Do you ever feel like life has just gone by and most of what you wanted has just been compromised on..
Do your ever go along with something cos it seems like the right thing to do and then realised along the way that the whole purpose of it has been lost..

Did u ever think when u were younger and when u dreamed of wondrous things that one day along the way you would have to put all your dreams aside and just settle...

SETTLE/ RECONCILE / MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY WITH ... cos sometimes that's the only thing left to do.. its the only way out . But along the way .. after you have decided to settle for something.. compromised on your wants, dreams, desires .. it will all come back to haunt you !

Doesn't it make you wonder.. was it all actually worth it!!

Still I Rise

Still I Rise


You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

Maya Angelou


I found this ever so inspiring... so wanted to share it..

Long island iced tea..

So yesterday started of as a crappy day. well it ended pretty much the same way too but i will get to that in a bit!

so work was annoying as hell with people trying to palm of their various duties on other unsuspecting souls ! I mean come one we all get paid to work so wot on earth makes some people think that by work it merely mean palming it off on someone else! aaaaaaaaaargh! anyways dealth with it by writing a well worded yet cutting email to one and all concerend . It worked !! well so far atleast.

So at the end of my crappy day i decided i must have a drink as nothing helps relieve stress like a good drink. So grabbed my posse and headed off to to the inn that is very green. Ordered and drank 2 long island iced teas.. no one else was drinking for soem bizarre reason ..they were just watching but well nothin was about to deter me. and let me tell you this! The long island iced tea at the inn that is green most definitely hits the spot!! I was very merry by the end of it.
so so so very merry that once i got home and got on the phone with the better half i laughed through most of what i now realise was a fairly serious fight! anyways I hung up and blissfully fell asleep and wpt a blissfull sleep it was~

But of course woke up this morning to a series of text messages that made me want to go right back to sleep. Dream land is so much of a nicer place i think!!!! anyways now in the process of making amends!~ most stressfull... might end up needing more long island iced tea today again :) :) :)

To buy or not to buy..

so the last few weeks have been going blissfully well ... gosh i hope i didn't jinx it by saying that aloud. but tis true~ the world is a pretty and better place... :)

The family have been making a greater effort to be nice to me and vice versa so that is going well. I think its just sunken in to one and all that come next year there will be no more me to yell at !!

in other news its the better halfs birthday and despite my various monetary concerns and constraints i have decided to surprise him and go visit. Now in order to do this i had to go through many hassles which included obtaining a new credit card with a large limit ... which is very scary for me as my money management skills are undoubtedly TERRIBLE !! I have discussed my new pay back plan with many friends and while it is by no mean full proof ones got to do wot ones got to do... true love knows no boundaries ~ ( except maybe a few financial ones /!!)


so now plans have been made friends have been called, The only dilemna i am facing at the moment is if i need to buy the better half a present... My going there has to be a good present right! I mean i would love to splurge on him but any more spending and I may have to sell myself and my soul...

what the !!!!!!!!

ok so i seem to whine alot. Alot of good things have happened since my last post but those shall be updated later. In short im now engaged to be married next year! while the actual significance of this is yet to sink in I'm most distracted with silly happenings in my life.

Why oh why cant u wake up happy and juts stay happy for the rest of the day., So I wake up all happy and blissful and early morning i realise my sibling has taken my phone charger and lost it. I mean really dude! how the hell am i supposed to get my phone charged.

Go down for breakfast and the maternal unit starts on her tirade of dont eat sugar with the porridge. I hope u didnt eat alot for dinner last night. What time shall we go to the gym. I mean hell i know ive gotta lose weight but for crying out loud wot oh wot wd she do if she had yokozuna as her son!!!!!!! she should be counting her blessings ! aaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Then of course a bitter fight with the better half. and really it was not my fault.

Im worried now about everything! where my life is heading...... the consequences of my decisions.......... i wish we could see the future... for a bit atleast....... a lil glimpse.. just so its a bit clearer about which path to take...

So here I am .... getting ever so close to turning 30 and i somehow thought i would have it all figured out by then. But everything is as uncertain as it was 5 years ago . Maybe even a little more so considering i feel my time is quickly running out and my biological clock is on overdrive!!



My fears are made worse by my mother and grandmother who are at their wits end that i am not married... and the nearing 30 issue mite drive them both to hospital in a few months.

I feel responsible and guilty fot their misery but I have reached a stage where i absolutely don't trust my own judgment when it comes to men. The choices i make are always wrong! So this is a total no win situation!



work is the one good thing but now with the fucked up way things are going any kind of work in the conflict zone is stalled and the bombs can now let lose and destory everything that was built during the so called ceasefire period. oh well i guess the catch phrase of the people in the WAnni would be "SHIT HAPPENS - ALL THE BLOODY TIME "



And time continues to speed by and nothing seems to be changing except of course the fact that there are Rajapakse's blooming all over the place taking over everybit of whats left our our country.



On a brighter note maybe this is just monday morning blues!! oh well .

My first post !

This is my very first blog and my very first post!!

I decided it was time to write about random things in my life and around me. While my views and thoughts may not be profound and awe inspiring I hope I enjoy this journey of discovering the blogger in me !!